Welcome to relationships4u.co.uk

Welcome to our site

Welcome to our site. This site is unlike any other site you have ever visited. It takes up topics that you think you should know about, but don't.

The site is aimed at people who are interested in their own future and are willing to create it. This site is not for everybody as it will upset a lot of people. This site gives you the true information on the subject gathered from the finest minds over a 20 year period. This information is available to you in easy to understand plain English,for the first time ever.

Part of the future is your relationship with the opposite sex.

History of Relationships

From the beginnings of the human race man has not understood himself so it's no surprise he could not
understand women or vice versa.

Earliest man did not have the same problems as today's man. If Ugg wanted a woman he went out and captured one and dragged her back to his cave. Of course she would run away the first chance she got. His solution was to cripple her by breaking her leg. She retaliated by urinating in his food and by poisoning him or killing him in his sleep. It was a hard life.

Ugg had a son called Eeh and, seeing his father's mistakes, he thought it might be a good idea to capture a woman by impressing her with his strength, vitality and ability to but food in the cave. Eeh had a son and, seeing his father's way was more successful than his grandfather's (who had been poisoned many years earlier), decided that he could captivate a woman with his strength, vitality and ability to put food in the cave. He found to his surprise that many women wanted to come live in his cave. He figured he had a choice of women. His daughters decided they had a choice of men. One daughter was impressed with another man's strength, vitality and ability and had a lot of children. Another daughter, not realising that strength and vitality and ability were valuable qualities, soon starved to death when a lazy, inept man failed to put food in the cave.

Our ancestors found then that survival depended on a good choice of partner and an ability to learn from and correct mistakes. Fast forward to the 21st century and these lessons are forgotten. Real, usable information is
so hard to find that one would think it was hidden and the majority of the available information is just
psychobabble that even the authors don't understand. By contrast, every thing in this site is in plain english
and easy to understand.

Relationships can end in divorce, heartbreak and even murder.

What is a good choice ?

In the main man has evolved into a loving caring species that cares for its young and old alike, but it's not unusual for relationships to go wrong especially with the pressures of modern living. What makes man successful is his ability to think.

Lovers: this is a kind of love that blossoms when two strangers meet and a very strong feeling of well being
occurs when the couple are together. This is accompanied by feelings of mutual admiration. Very, very strong bonds are formed. This is what we will call real love. Together they feel whole. Split them up and they feel like a nothing. This is the only time two zeros ever add up to one. This is what the romantic novels wish for. This in reality is the wages for life. We work hard and all we want for it is someone to love and to love us.

If this is what we all want how does it go wrong and end in heartache? It's because everybody is a natural born "expert" and hasn't got a clue on the subject.

For man to be successful he has to think and work out solutions to the problems of survival and for us survival is a successful relationship and if he is a natural born "expert" then he will only react.

For example, man goes to night club, sees scantily clad, perfumed woman doing erotic dance. The music is too loud to communicate, he knows nothing about her and wants to have sex with her, falls in love with her stunning beauty, this is normal for today and is in fact just a reaction to a stimulus and not very survival.

The more a man or woman think and plan the more successful their relationship is likely to be.The first thing needed is a conscious decision to make the right choice. This might seem obvious, but the vast majority of people do not do this. They wait for some magical event when Mr. or Mrs. Right will show up and fireworks will go off to mark the event.

It never occurs to them to make a "shopping list". It never occurs to them what to put on the "shopping list". I spent a year surveying single people. Not one person had a "shopping list" for what they wanted in a partner. Not one person could describe their ideal partner.

It's very possible that you have a "shopping list", a "wish list" or an "ideal scene", but it's a certainty that you don't know what to put on that list for the very simple reason that it is not natural. It is not something you are born with. You have to think about it and learn about it. Natural born experts just do not exist.

Earlier we said that man did not understand himself so how could he understand the opposite sex. Now we find this situation creates such confusion he can't even make a "shopping list". No wonder he has difficulties with relationships.

Magic Wand

I would like to wave a magic wand or supply you with a happy pill that would cure all your relationship
problems, but I can't. Whether you spend five months or fifty years in a relationship you would like it to be
loving, happy, harmonious, contented, exciting, fulfilling and rewarding - and no effort at all. It all comes by magic, or your star sign hits the jackpot or by the hand of your God.

Sorry, this is the year 2008 and things don't work that way. Your future is your responsibility. Leaving it to "luck", "star signs" or "Gods" or reactions to stimulus is foolhardy and just because two or three billion people do it does not make it right. You create your own future by the choices you make. Where you are right now is a result of past decisions and choices.

To make a choice you need to be able to compare one with another. With three billion to choose from you need to reduce this down to a "shopping list" or "wish list" of what you need and want in a relationship, but unlike cars, machinery and houses people don't come with a set of specifications to compare.

Making the Right Choice: Specifications

He has to be tall, dark and handsome. She has to be petite, blonde and beautiful. These are specifications, but if you want your relationship to be loving, happy, harmonious, contented, exciting, fulfilling and rewarding you need a bit more, well a lot more really. You need to know exactly what specifications will be needed to make you happy. As everybody is an individual a unique set of specifications will be needed.

I once asked a well to do business man what type of woman he wanted. He replied, genuinely, a woman that would stay with him. I asked a very successful woman what kind of man she wanted. She said a real man, but was unable to describe one and so could not find one.

More long term permanent relationships fail than succeed by a ratio of 2 to 1. The figures for casual living together are far higher.

The cost of a relationship break up is usually one or other of the couple is broken hearted. Many broken hearted people never recover or lead a happy life. Almost everybody has suffered some form of emotional pain followed by emotional unhappiness.There is a law that the worse the emotional pain the more you loved them in the first place.

Love is the greatest of all emotions. Get it right and it's a skyrocket to heaven. Get it wrong and welcome to
hell.

Successful Relationships

As our ancestors found out success depended on making the right choices - a shopping list complete with spcifications - and learning from our mistakes. Intelligent people learn from our ancestors' mistakes, not their own.

Nothing is taught in churches about relationships. Some churches say that relationships are made by God. If they end in divorce or murder does that mean that God was having a bad day?

Nothing is taught in schools, colleges or universities
about relationships. Teachers and professors have exactly the same problems facing their students.

How to Make the Right Choice

The way to make the right choice is to make a "shopping list" based on specifications needed to suit your unique self.

The following are ten excerpts which will give you a clue to some vital specifications needed for your "shopping list".

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